Hello All! Wow, so I hopped on here today to talk about what a crazy day I had yesterday and how it actually helped me grow. Today I can appreciate the trials I was put through even though in the midst of the chaos I got lost in a storm.
To start with, parenting is SO HARD! I mean, before I actually had kids I had this imagine of the mom I was going to be and some days it is so disheartening how far I am from the idea I had created.
My oldest has to be on a strict diet for medical reasons (no it’s not a choice, if we could occasionally go to Wendy’s it would be easy or not have to worry about milk closing airways that would be great!). We were starting our day trying to get ready for school and had to drink a “protein shake” (it’s hypoallergenic formula but protein shake is the preferred name). I had given a reasonable amount of time to drink said shake. Although procrastination took in and it wasn’t until drop off that it was decided amongst the young mind to “down it”. Didn’t end well as you can assume, protein vomit…all over my door. Before that it took us about 30 minutes to get our shoes and socks on which ended up being me doing it because apparently Tuesdays mean we move like sloths. We were running late and my youngest has developed the knack of talking back.
Fast forward to being in the drop off line and the puke incident. I just snapped on my kids. I swore I would never do that. I would never allow any situation to make me lose my cool and control. I have never yelled at them like I did yesterday morning. Normally if I snap at them I calm down and explain to them how what they did wasn’t ok but I should have handled it better. It’s not ok to take our frustration out on others. I didn’t explain anything. My oldest got out for school and we left on silent terms. Ughhhhh the guilt hit me hard. I had to pull over and digest what happened.
An insight, I grew up with a parent that had no control over their emotions and often had a lot of rage problems. So this is a sensitive area in parenting for me. I know discipline is needed I just try to always be in control of my reactions.
I was texting my circle of friends and family in the parking lot trying to feel better about what happened. My Aunt handed me some tough love and told me to be careful praying for patience because God is going to continue to put me in situations to grow! NOT what I wanted to hear but definitely what I needed. I am so thankful for one of my girlfriends having an impromptu mom date so that my youngest could play and we could have adult time and I really needed to work through everything that happened.
I am so thankful for my counsel that gave me Godly advice. They really helped me through it. It may sound so small to some but it was a really hard for me.
Later in the day I was handed another situation that worked my nerves. I mean my petty queen wanted to come out and play! This is where my stone collecting comes to play. In a previous blog I had talked about my nasty habit of collecting rocks against those that have wronged me. Again, friends to the rescue to speak the word to me. So badly I wanted to reach in my basket and start throwing my rocks!
Even with my kids, I feel like I exploded because even if I was not consciously collecting, I had a stack of rocks against my kids. Things that have been happening and I thought I was dealing with them the correct way. Then yesterday all of my rocks came out of that ugly basket.
To say I had to have some quiet time with the Lord is an understatement. I really had to reevaluate my entire day and the weeks leading up to. We all fall short and I am so thankful for a forgiving God. He knows my shortcomings and knows what I need to have that slap in the face “get your life together” kind of moment. I may make mistakes but my kids see that I seek the Lords love and guidance to help me through it.
Do you know the best way to end the day? Listening to my kids pray at the end of the night and they’re thanking God for helping them remember not to give the dog hot water in their drinking bowls. So sweet and innocent. I am thankful that they love me through my flaws.
Until next time! Remember to breathe in the hard times and just take a few minutes to talk to God. He’ll see you through the hard times of the day and blesses us with a new day.