God under fire!

Intense title right? Why would we ever put God under fire? We’re all believing Christians that know God is good! So, SO wrong. I can only speak for myself when I admit I am far from perfect and can only pray for grace from Him.

We all have seasons in life. I love fall, it’s the best time of year. Not too hot, not too cold. I walk outside and the cool breeze hits my face. It’s a calming sensation I have a hard time putting into words. In that moment nothing matters, I take a deep breath and feel at peace. Plus, I don’t feel like I am going to melt into a puddle of mush when I run. Oh, and don’t forget pumpkin flavored EVERYTHING! PIE FOR DAYS! This time of year is simply perfect! Except, it’s also a dangerous time of year where I live because it’s riddled with Hurricanes. How can a time of bliss and joy be RUINED by absolutely horrid and dangerous weather? It doesn’t seem fair.

In a more serious view, I was that pregnant woman when I was pregnant with my first. I did everything I was supposed to. I ate clean…mostly, I exercised…some days, I didn’t take medicine…not even Tylenol! When he came into the world he was perfect and amazing but something in me knew it wasn’t perfect. After changing doctors and seeing more doctors we found out that our son, that I fed only organic and homemade food, was plagued with food allergies and an auto immune-inflammatory condition. To say I put God under fire is an under statement. WHY me? WHY him? I did everything by the book. There are drug addicts out there that manage to have perfectly healthy babies. Then they feed them complete garbage! Why was he being punished? This is how I felt. Unfortunately, I turned on God. How could he exist and let this happen? What did I do wrong? My faith slipped through every fiber in me and before I could realize it, it was gone. I no longer chased the dream of being closer to Him because in my mind he wasn’t there.

         Fear leads to doubt! 

     Another example, when I thought my life was on point and everything was going great the rug was ripped out from under me. I was growing closer to God. How much better could it be right? Wrong again! Have you noticed how often you’re wrong when you think you’re right on your own terms and not His? I thought surely this is mistaken I am doing everything the way I’m supposed to. The mind set was so similar from when I loaded up my doubt and started firing it at God a few years prior! This time God put me on a different path to help me through it. He knew I wouldn’t make it on my own. I wasn’t as strong as I thought I was.

      He will sit like a refiner of silver, burning away the dross.” –Malachi 3:3

     I had to really read up on the process of refining silver to fully understand this verse. The refiner has to sit and watch the silver burn in the hottest part of the flames to burn away all of the impurities. If left for even a moment too long the silver will be ruined. Let that sink in after rereading the verse. God puts us through the hottest of fires in our life to help burn away our impurities. He knows when to pull us out of the fire because He will be able to see himself in us. Wow, God is good. I failed miserably when it came to my sons diagnosis and daily battle with food. God gave me HIS child to care for and protect in this world. Crazy, my Mother-in-Law told me that through many of melt downs but I didn’t want to hear it. She was so right and I wish I would have listened. She was the one he put there for me to listen to and I turned away time after time. No prayers weren’t going to cure him I thought. But what if the answer to Gods purpose isn’t for a cure for him but something bigger? I witness a little boy PRAY to God to give him strength and courage…he also thanks him for Skittles and Twizzlers. My son would be the one to randomly pray for people even though I kept him from Church because my doubt cannon was still fire at God.

How often do we get angry when our plans get messed up, someone is taken from us, our prayers aren’t answered immediately and they way we want? What would we be like as Christians if God never taught us anything? We never had to answer for our actions because God had our back. I grew as a mom and as a woman going through all of the fires I have been in. I know when God sees I need to go through another inferno I have to tool box to get through it and wait for Him to pull me out when I am ready.

I hope you have a blessed week and think about how your pray. Do you pray unconditionally? If you don’t get the answer when and how you want it do you lose faith and gain doubt? God has us in the fire, don’t put God under fire.

 

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