What a trying week it has been. I have been battling insurance and medical facilities for an entire week on an issue I thought we had fixed the last time we were in this situation. By the time Tuesday night had rolled around and the medical facility called I ended up in tears and calling my Mother-in-Law to calm down. I had gotten so burnt out going back and forth constantly being told I was wrong when I knew I was right. I even had the insurance back up what I was saying. I KNEW I was right. I threw my hands up and said never again. In that moment I wanted to throw the towel in because I was tired after 4 days of calling in circles and getting different answers. My husband was gone for the week. I wasn’t sleeping at night, it was a burden in my mind all day. I had become weary and thought this isn’t worth it, not worth my son seeing the best doctor for him. Surely somewhere else would work.
Didn’t Elijah want to throw in the towel after everything he accomplished? When he got word Jezebel was after him he fled. When he prayed for death the Angel responded with eating and drinking. He was tired, he needed rest and food to recover. I had become weary, I wanted to quit. I prayed and God answered me to step away. In a moment of complete chaos I felt a sudden calm. I put my phone on silent, I enjoyed the beautiful evening with my kids and my mom. I let go of trying to control what hasn’t even happened yet. Elijah wanted to die before Jezebel had a chance to get to him. Was she actually going to reach him? Who knows. Is this insurance issue going to be a headache 3 months from now, who knows.
I prayed for grace because I was showing my tail to everyone I talked to because they were talking to me a certain way. Is that true to who I am? Absolutely not, it actually bothered me so much I couldn’t sleep. I allowed someone else to tire me out to the point I was no longer thinking clearly like I normally would be. The day after I took the break from it all I received a phone call that completely changed the situation for me and I cannot help but be entirely grateful that God heard my prayers, he saw me struggling. I am grateful I listened when he told me to rest. I am ending this crazy week feeling empowered because at the end of the day all of that was very miniscule in the grand scheme of life. It wasn’t worth me losing sight of what truly mattered, my son receiving care from the best doctor for him.
My advice for this week is to remember in the times when you’re beaten down, crying, wanting to give up remember we have God to turn to. These are some of the verses that I turned to this week and I hope they’re helpful to you as well. Have a blessed week!
“But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength; they will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary; they will walk and not be faint.” Isiah 40:31
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30