Be still….that is something hard to understand, at least for me. I have always liked having something to do. I want to be as busy as possible and accomplish more than the previous day. It had turned into a competition with myself. A rat race that I was never going to win by changing the goal further and further away. My family and friends were often left with an exhausted and over whelmed person to deal with. I would see what someone had accomplished and think I could do that, maybe even better.
Finally one day I had enough of the chaos I had created. God spoke to me loud and clear “Be still, you’re missing so much”. A little background before I dive into this moment. I used to be GLUED to my phone. My husband would always harass me for being on it. In my mind I wasn’t on it as much as he, and really everyone around me, claimed. Social media had become my “outlet” to the real world. HOW CRAZY IS THAT? The “real world”?! That’s the factory for fabricated lives and yet I was holding on so tightly to it. Thank God for helping me break that cycle. One day around 4 am I was up and on social media instead of sleeping. I had become so involved with it that I was having to triple check if I could post something, Would this offend them? Will they think this is about them? Is this only funny to me? Is this PC? Who wants to live a life worrying so much about that? The moment I deleted my account I was breaking away my chains.
In Pslam 46 we read about God being our refuge from all troubles. Throughout all pain and suffering faced here on earth we need to be still and understand that God is in control. This was a hard pill for me to swallow. How could I be still when there is so much to worry about and to fix? If I don’t fix this it wont get fixed! I couldn’t have been more wrong! If I am in pain or I am suffering it will end. Maybe not right when I want to or how I want it to but it will end. I am not in control of other people and their reactions, I cannot control the other drivers on the road, I have no control over anything outside of myself. I can control my mind.
Recently I found myself without kids and having free time so I decided to go to the beach, by myself! I walked it splashing my feet in the water and looking at all of the beautiful shells. The old me would have never thought of spending time alone. I would have needed someone there for me to enjoy it. Don’t get me wrong, I still enjoy the company of my family and friends. Now it’s that I want to spend time with them not that I NEED it to enjoy the moment. There was something so calming just walking along, not thinking about my to do lists, pick up line, lunch, errands, just being still. I put my hands up and thanked God for blessing me with my life.
In the early morning hours on the beach I saw the reflection of the sun. No matter how close I tried to get, it was always a step out of reach. Exactly the reminder I needed. STOP CHASING THE SUN. Stop chasing anything. If I am so focused on the goal and trying to get there I am missing the beautiful life around me. I am not noticing the silly laughs of my kids, the loving stares of my husband, the compliments of my friends. I am not noticing LIFE! I am so thankful I was able to turn my life around before I missed too much. I couldn’t imagine having stayed on the path I was on and years from now realizing I gave up everything that truly mattered for stuff that didn’t.
Ending this week with the advice to read Pslam 46. Think about it. Let it really sink in. Are you being still? Thank you for coming back this week and I hope you choose to come back next!